I’m sitting here searching. Searching for what I do not know. I remind myself of someone, but who? I’m racking my brain. I find myself so worried about my job and these ambitions. Lord these ambitions would kill anyone with a dream. You. I remind myself of you. I sat there passionately telling you about what I wanted, and you would respond passionately about other things except the one thing you’d been fighting for all along; your career. You slaved away in school preparing your mind and enriching yourself and I watched. I saw the anxiety the unclarity in the whole thing, but I never questioned it too much or gave my opinion because it was so strong. I look at you now and I’m proud. I’m proud because you figured out what I already knew. You weren’t passionate about dentistry but your eyes lit up when you spoke of fashion, travels, and growth. That part of you inspired me, I grew happy watching your smile sparkle because of your potential. Now I find myself where you were. Contemplating life trying to figure it out. I never thought our age difference mattered but now I see that it did. I was so immature that it’s embarrassing to think of now lol. You were a blessing to me. As I sit here trying to figure out what to do next all I can think of is how much I’ve used “I” lol but I’m lost. I need your insight because you know. I trust you more than others and I expect honesty. Though this will probably never happen because I’m sure you’re busy and have many more demanding relationships. Just know that I know.
The Knowing Pt.II