I like living 2 hours away from my boyfriend. I remember when we started dating people kept asking me if I was going to move to Atlanta to be with him. The look on my face was pure amusement and disbelief. Why would I quit my job, pay rent, move away from my family, and a whole lot of other shit to be with my boyfriend? He wouldn’t be responsible for ensuring employment or rent money lol. I thought those people were bat shit crazy. I mean I have my OWN life…yeah he is important but at the end of the day I have to take care of myself. It bothered me because no one was asked him if he was moving to my small town to be with me. No one was asking him to leave his home and relocate on my behalf. It was very sexist actually, the thought that I should be the one to move. Looking back I really appreciate my decision. Moving to Atlanta would be my choice solely based on my wants and needs, not brand new relationship. Like bish whet?!
The distance is appreciated because it allows space; it gives us something to be excited about. I can still share my workday and everything else with him through other means of communication besides being in the same city. And though we’d like to pretend that we wouldn’t be all over each other and in each other’s space, the truth is those boundaries would probably get knocked down. Seeing him on select weekends gives me time to focus and reflect on my needs. I know he supports me, and though we do miss each other during the week it feels good to have something of my own. In college we all “shacked up” for some period of time, most of the time unconsciously. I don’t want that. I like our distance. It allows me to grow into my own and still make time for the Hometown Homies, my little sister’s games, and long afternoons with my mom. I know someone is thinking, “You can do those same things in Atlanta…”yeah in theory. The thing is if you want something you work for it, especially when it is an end of the week reward. We are two separate entities and until that changes my decisions will be based on my well being. If our relationship continues to evolve we can compromise or make those decisions. Right now though I like my distant but not so distant relationship.